Living Deliberately

Many people are unhappy.
Many people feel as if they are lost, or they are on autopilot, or they are merely floating through life.
Many people make decisions that they don't really care about, either way, but they make them because everyone else says that these decisions are good.
Why is this?

We live in a society that is, among other things, very good at distracting us.
We have social media, shopping malls, television, radio, and many other things that would be too tiresome to list.
These things are all great fun, which is why so many people use them.
But, on the other hand, it seems that most of us feel like we are not in control of our lives.
We feel like we are being trapped, but we aren't sure where the cage is.

The solution to this is deliberateness.
By this I mean really thinking about every choice you make, no matter how petty, and being present in its actions.
This is almost like the Buddhist idea of Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the concept of being fully present in and aware of each passing moment, and not clinging to any ideas of good or bad about it; just observing the moment and letting it pass into the next.

I said that this culture is good at distracting us, but that doesn't mean that it is possible to be not distracted and still operate within it's bounds.
Set limits for yourself, and adhere to them.
For example, don't just go to the store. Be deliberate, exercise control, go in knowing what you are going to buy, and buy only those things. Don't spend three hours wandering in the mall, store to store. You are being distracted by new clothes and advertisements into doing something you didn't actually want to do.
This is, of course, exactly what those things are meant to do; lure you into buying them, or at least consider them.

This kind of behavior transfers over into many aspects of living.
Essentially, it boils down to being passively or actively engaged with the world.
Someone who is passively engaged will look at what's before them, such as an ad, a store, a rack of clothes, a life decision, and decided on a course of action.
Someone who is actively engaged will make a decision, and then seek the means to carry it out.
For example, Passiveness would be perusing through a store, looking at a rack of clothes and, after much deliberation, buying a jacket that looks nice, while Activeness would be going to the store to buy a jacket, buying the jacket, and leaving.

This world is full of people who love to make choices for you. You will drink Coca Cola or Pepsico products, You will eat Chiquita bananas, You will drive a Ford, Toyota or Honda, You will either go to University or start a career, and so on.
Our lives are becoming more and more pre-determined.
For the most part, they follow the model of:
Be born, spend the first five years of your life in the care of parent(s), attend school, while living at home, until you are roughly 18, at this point you either a) start working or b) go to college and then start working, work until you have put in enough time or have enough money to retire, retire, enjoy a few years of leisure, then die. There are a few variations, here and there, but linear flow describes the vast majority of American people's lives.
Furthermore, our choices in entertainment are, mostly, what's on the radio or tv.
Our choices for food are, for the most part, whatever is at the supermarket or fast-food.
Our choices for clothes are, for the most part, whatever is being sold at whichever store we prefer.
It's no wonder we feel like we have no control.

Now, I'm not saying to ditch the system and go be a hermit in the woods.
Just make your own goddamn decisions.
There comes a time in everyone's life where they ask themselves
"Do I REALLY prefer Coke, or have I not given Pepsi enough of a chance?"
People fall into this rut of buying what they see on TV, and eating what they see in the store, and we are beginning to forget that we DO have a choice in this.
We, at any time, can refuse to participate in any aspect of culture, or society.
But, we first have to realize these conflicts and make a decision about them.
You have to be willing to ask yourself
"What do I want out of life? What do I want to eat or wear or watch? Where do I want to work? What is important to me?"
And so many people don't.
We get to be maybe 20 and then realize that we have no fucking clue what we want to do with our lives, because we have been told our whole lives what to wear, and where to shop, and how to think, and we never questioned it.
Don't make that mistake.

The most important step to take, at first, is being deliberate in your actions.
Don't just aimlessly surf channels, tune in to the show you want to watch, watch it, then turn off the TV.
You will find you have more time, you will be more confident and happy in your choices, and it will start to feel like you have some control over your life.
It is tough, and tedious, to ask yourself questions everyday, to be actively engaged in the world.
But being passive seems to lead to this inevitable angst, apathy, and feeling of being lost in a stormy sea.
Be active. Make decisions and be proud of them, no matter how small they are. Be willing to ask yourself how you want to live you life, and be willing to live that way.

Live deliberately, in the face of millions of people and billions of dollars that want to make your decisions for you.
For what is a human being if he is deprived of free will?